Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Tears, Spiders, and Fisticuffs

I did it. I made a kindergartner cry yesterday. I wasn't mean, per say. She just doesn't understand that my family calls me "heartless" and "cold-hearted." Tears are not the way to gain my favor. I have no problem letting a small person cry for hours when he/she does not get his/her way. It doesn't phase me at all. Hopefully, Little Miss Teary-Eyed will learn that she must follow directions in order to get a sticker in my class. 'Nuff said.

I suffered through the toughest breakfast duty I have ever had to deal with today. I walked into the cafeteria and started conversing with students and other teachers. About five minutes later, a seventh grader walked in carrying a small container WITH A GIANT TARANTULA IN IT! My heart began racing, and my flight instinct was totally kicking in. All I wanted to do was leave that room and get as far away from that hairy arachnid as possible. But, I was on duty, with the Agri teacher, so I couldn't leave. But I had to get the kids to calm down, eat their breakfasts, and be as controlled as possible... WITH A GIANT TARANTULA IN THE ROOM! I even had to get within two feet of the thing and almost had to touch the container to get the kids to be in control. I really didn't show my strong teacher side when it came to the GIANT TARANTULA!

Two minutes after dealing with the GIANT TARANTULA, an eighth grader starts yelling at an eleventh grader, jumps over the table, and attacks the poor unsuspecting eleventh grader. Now, the harassed eleventh grader is probably six feet tall and weighs a good 250 pounds. The offended eighth grader is probably five feet six inches, one hundred fifty pounds soaking wet. Clearly the eighth grader did not choose wisely in this fight, and since I was on duty, I was one of the teachers responsible for dealing with the fisticuffs. Yes, me. And the agri teacher. So, Mr. Agri makes headway to the very angry eighth grader, and I decide to stand in between Mr. Eighth Grade and Mr. Eleventh Grade. We get everyone under control and the offending parties are sent to the office to have their punishments dealt out by the principal. After a few minutes, I realize, I was standing in between a volatile temper and the object of his anger. Not too smart. But I did have several students tell me they were very impressed that I jumped right in the middle. Now, if the GIANT TARANTULA had been the object of Mr. Volatility's anger, I might have just let him beat the stupid thing to a pulp!

2 comments:

The Kemps said...

gloria, i cannot read your blog when you post disgusting spider pics. stop doing that! -erin

Tony V. Hammack said...

Your blog is really good! I'm reading and laughing. I used to teach in a Christian high school and enjoy your teacher stories.